Lockdown diary day 5: How acceptable is it to have a G&T for breakfast?

Seriously, how acceptable is it to have a gin & tonic for breakfast? Asking for a friend.

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I felt a bit ill this morning (Don’t worry, I’m not coughy or feverish nor was it the nausea caused by an early G&T) with a wave of motion sickness rushed through my body.

I was in bed, still dark in my room, I went on my phone jumping from article to article and all of a sudden, the sense of dread came over me. Not surprising as such since it was an abundance of bad news on top of bad news. Feeling woozy in my tummy and a slight eye strain from focusing too intently on my bright phone screen, I felt like I was going to throw up.

I took 20 minutes to let my mind wander in to relaxation from a short meditation session. Deep breathing exercises helps my body to reset. I felt so much better afterwards, like I had floated out of my body and the feeling of apprehension had suddenly lifted.

How many of us are breathing incorrectly?

Loads of us, I bet. I didn’t even know there was a right and wrong way to breathe until my first session of therapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) where I learned that I should not be breathing from my chest but from my diaphragm. By breathing incorrectly, it signals your brain that there’s danger ahead or you’re in harm’s way, the adrenaline pumps through your veins and your brain goes in to fight or flight mode. Of course, in my worst of panic, I wasn’t in danger, I was in the safety of my own home.

Suddenly I’d feel like something bad was about to happen to me (even though I was literally in my front room watching Friends) and it had somehow triggered a panic attack. Right now, I’m feeling the flow of anxiety, as are all of us, and I learned in those CBT sessions on how to effectively manage (and prevent) a panic attack occurring by breaking the the cycle and the irrational thoughts. It’s so hard, especially now, but this morning was an example how how far I’ve come.

It’s amazing how breathing sessions can reset your body and give you a sense of calm.

Be kind to yourself

Due to the bad start, I decided to be kind to myself today. Don’t worry, no G&Ts were consumed before 12noon…. instead I allowed myself to be in the comfort of my fluffy dressing gown, curled up under a fleecy blanket and binge watched Tiger Kings on Netflix. It was lush. I’m on episode 5 and can’t wait to binge on the rest again tomorrow.

I also had a couple of family FaceTime calls which was just what I needed! The call basically consisted of my dad showing us Bonnie’s new DIY hair cut (has anyone else resorted to grooming their dogs with a DIY job?), mum showing us what she had been baking, and me shouting intermittently with the following phrases:

Don’t forget to wash your hands

Have you washed your hands?

When was the last time you washed your hands?

Don’t touch your face

Wipe that down

Don’t get too close to people

WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS

I don’t need to tell you how obsessed I am with these rules, I’ve confessed this. But I am starting to annoy my family. Nothing new there, they know how highly strung I am. Every day I’m texting my parents like this to make sure that they’re ok (note how they don’t actually reply, lolzz)

Remember yesterday when I said I’m at the end stage of house buying which is being made in to more of a headache due to coronavirus?

JUST MY LUCK… The owner isn’t happy about the potential delay an that we may not complete this week as originally planned. Don’t know how much I can say about the whole thing but the large part of the day was spent panicking about the fact that it might all fall through. I *think* it will be ok in the end. I’m going to stay positive about it!

It would be really frickin’ awesome if some luck would come my way. I’m off to not drown my sorrows in a strong gin & tonic but to make some fudge and eat my body weight in these sugary treats. Meh. Gin, fudge, that’s kinda the same thing, right?!

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