[photo credit: @thedarlingassembly]
Hiya! How are you all doing?
Me? Oh, I’m fine. I feel like I’m one mental breakdown away from absolutely losing my shit – but aren’t we all?! 🤡
Given what’s going on right now, I am actually coping surprisingly. I am now working from home during the lockdown and all is good, but then it’s only been my second day…
To distract myself, I thought it would be good to jump on the blog and start writing the random thoughts that come in to my head. I think it will be good for my mental health to blog about this strange time.
So there isn’t much to report other than I’ve decided to write and document my mundane life where my days consists of answering emails, spraying the flat obsessively with Dettol, and washing my hands repeatedly. Repeatedly.
I don’t even know where I’m going with this blogpost but on days where I feel like I’m going barking mad, I’ve always found comfort in my blog. Right now, more than ever, it’s the distraction I need. When focussed on something, it makes time go quickly and it diverts my attention from the overwhelming world of social media. Twitter is a horror show at the minute and it’s not healthy to be scrolling endlessly.
I’m not going to defeat the purpose by moaning, complaining or talking about all the things that are going wrong lately. It also doesn’t seem right to blog about my collection of lipsticks (maybe another time!). Instead, I’ll settle back in to blogging by writing absolutely bollocks. I just want to open my laptop and type the first thing that comes in to my head. SEO, alt tags and pretty photos are the last thing on my mind right now.
Working from home
Yesterday was my day one of working from home. Up until then, I’ve been travelling by train to work each day up and I’ve been in two minds about it. I love work and being in the office helps my mind and wellbeing!
But on the other hand, I’ve been scared about the risk of catching the virus, but also about the increased xenophobia and discrimination towards East Asians. I’m very observant and rather sensitive towards the tiniest of change, and at first I downplayed it as paranoia, but I’m not so blind to it now. Especially as last week, this young man fake coughed in my face while his friend laughed. He didn’t do it to anyone else. Just me.
I legged it home, cried, called my boyfriend, called my Mum, and got on with life as normal the day after.
I’m relieved that we’re allowed to work from home until things get better, it is a privilege not all people have. I have lived in a flat on my own for 5 years now and I have worked from home for the best part of ten so I’ve had practise. I should be good at it. But I’m not. I’ve developed a complex of having too much time with my own thoughts. I’m better at it now than I used to be, but as some of you have come to realise, it’s not as easiest as it seems.
Having a routine helps. On day one, I was chuffed to bits with how well it started. I woke up at 7:30am, showered, cleaned the flat, got dressed and even put make-up on. I made a cuppa, set up my new laptop at my WFH station, and got on with my day.
I told myself I’d make the effort to stick to a routine every day after work – it would benefit my mind to make time to exercise, read newly-purchased books (3 for £5 from The Works!), eat at normal times, enjoy a head-to-toe pamper session, a 7-step skincare routine, watch telly, FaceTime my family, and go to bed at a decent time. I’m going to cope. It’s going to bliss.
P O S I T I V E V I B E S !
Well. I was too smug about well the first day, wasn’t I?! It’s day two and I sat working in my PJ’s until 11:30am. Don’t judge. They’re Victoria’s Secret pyjamas, really stylish and really comfortable. Oh, and I did 48 steps today…
There really is no excuse and I’ll try harder tomorrow.
Living on my own means I only need the basic when it comes to food. My weekly food shop can vary between £15-£25. (What is she eating? Air? I hear you ask). I live on my own, sometimes I just fancy a piece of toast and jam for dinner.
I live next to a huge supermarket so I count myself lucky that I don’t feel the panic-buy or stock-pile. Instead, I sit by the front window and wait patiently for the big delivery lorry to approach the back of Sainsbury’s… (I’m joking. Sort of).
On Monday after work (before Boris’ big announcement), I did my weekly shop. I bought fresh veggies and a couple of packs of meat to last me through the first week. For week two, I’ve got a few cans of old soup and baked beans. And then I’ll be resorting to freezer, to see me through the week after, scavenging for whatever is left.
During this whole work-from-home stint, I should probably baby-proof the cupboards. Not for any baby, but for me. I absolutely must not allow myself to visit my fully-stocked snacks cupboard of cheap crisps and custard creams at regular intervals… but I can see how this is going to pan out. I didn’t panic buy these, by the way, I just love crisps and always have a supply of them.
What was the highlight of my day?
It’s not exactly a highlight (far from it) but I got a shock when the computer screen turned black and the horror that is my potato face stared back while gracefully stuffing my gob chops with a bacon sarnie and a packet of Seabrooks Crisps. Cruel. 🥔💻